On Guilt

I hate the feeling of guilt. Upon feeling the trigger, it will first come as a shock–for a moment your heart stops. Then it beats faster and stronger as you literally feel yourself sinking into something smaller which enhances your heartbeat more. Most of the time you just wish that you disappear altogether.

Lately, as if fate is teasing me, testing my strength, I was poured with a lot of things to be guilty about. In short, I seem to keep messing up.

I think the amount of guilt that you feel is proportional to the amount of care that you have. If only I could just lessen the care to lessen the guilt.

I don’t know.

Having a mind that thinks too much has been a curse more than a blessing.

I don’t know.

Or probably this happens when you are bedridden for two whole days.

I don’t know.

I just wish I could walk again.